Dream

So I was in this room with other people I think from community taking a test and I was frustrated because I thought I kept marking the wrong answers. So I ended up leaving the room and running to my car, all the while I had a thought in the back of my head that the answers might not have been actually wrong, they were just not the same that everyone else had. I saw Rosi out by my car and he was frustrated with the same thing and we bonded a little about that and then I got in my car and started driving and Zak and a van of community people was beside me while I was driving the same place as them and I saw 2 deer on the side of the road and I was like awwwwwww deer on the side of the road, so I slowed down and opened my window and was touched by their beauty and I was really excited but then I started going because I realized the other van was going to leave me behind but before I could get going a BABY FAWN jumped right into my car through my passenger side window!!! I was flabbergasted and amazed and excited and scared all at the same time that my car did a little loop and I took a different road than the van was taking. I was really upset because I wanted to be with the van and I didn't know where this other road was leading me. So we went down this road and I saw some dark foreboding corn fields but heck if I was going to let my little fawn treasure of a deer go out in that creepy place even though it looked safe from cars so then we kept going down the road and ended up going to this empty mall type place but there were no stores. I ended up losing the deer when I was getting back in the car and then met up with Zak again in the van somehow and he said that he and Tyler had a word from God for me and prophesied with exactness what I had eaten and bought ... and I knew they weren't there, so I knew it was from God ....and THEN they told me that I was upset about the test but I didn't have to be because God LOVED me and that it was all right. THEN I was transported and I was at my mom/dad's house and I was watching a movie about spiritual things I think and it was talking about shopping at one point I remember, it kinda looked like that shut up poster in the prayer room at the gladstone in the dream but it was describing different parts of personalities and how it was all fitting together and even though there were lots of parts, they all formed to make one word and somehow it was good and joining relationship with others. Then my mom stormed in the room in her angry scary mode and she said, "WHY do you always have to watch movies all the time?!?!??!" And I felt so much shame, condemnation and then I felt resolve to keep it on just to spite her. So she left the room and I felt like that at any time she was going to bust down the doors that I was standing against with my foot near the door to try to keep it closed. The doors on the room I was in don't keep locked and someone can easily open them. I was upset that I couldn't watch the rest of the movie but I felt shame that maybe I do watch too many movies and maybe I shouldn't see Narnia because my mom would disapprove. I was also upset because I thought my mom was better but she seemed to be reverting back to old patterns. Then my dream ended!!!

ideas

Hey Daddy,

So I wanted to express some ideas to you. I need you and I need your advice. Please help me. I want to come back to a romance with you but I'm not sure what that is going to look like. I have so many ideas going through my head and I feel like that I live most of my life trying to get away from "bad" feelings and get to "good" feelings whether the medium which I use is healthy it is irrelevant. I just want what is going to make me feel good and I want it quickly. So Lord, Please increase my desires to not only feeling good but going DEEP in you. GOING DEEP into intimacy. I want hunger. I want yearning. I want passion. I want to go to a worship session and feel like I just took a drink from a deep well. I want every revelation of your cross to strike new passion within me. I'm tired of the dry day to day mundane, I want to experience you. Lord, I know that you aren't boring, I just know that I have too many thoughts and stuff that I am chasing simultaneously that my focus is slightly off kilter. Lord Jesus, I know that a guy can teach me many things about you, I ask that all of my relationships would not be selfish but be loving and pushing towards you. I ask that you would make me selfless, giving and unassuming in my relationships. Remove my expectations and my dashed hopes. I ask that you would renew me once again with your affections for me so that I can experience your presence anew in a different and hopeful way. I ask that you would help me in my job at First Watch that I can truly love the people and the staff and the management and to serve you in everyway that I can with an awesome and amazing attitude. Draw me closer into you and FILL me with the abundance of your HOLY SPIRIT that I may overflow with hope. Thank you Daddy, Draw me into the intimacy of your heart, let me feel your emotions. Jesus stop Emily's physical pain, I ask that you would draw her close tonight and fill her mind with dreams from you and let your heart be one with hers.

Bless my dreams and fill my empty and wandering thoughts with you, Jesus!

Graham Cooke "The Gift of Confidence"

THE GIFT OF CONFIDENCE

by Graham Cooke

God is not an optimist. He is a realist with a joyful disposition. He is also confident, carefree and generous. He smiles, laughs, sings and dances through His relationships. He knows the heart of man, yet is no pessimist. He does not get hung up on negatives; instead, He prefers goodness, mercy, grace and lovingkindness to display His demeanor. His love never ceases and never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8).

He will use truth to set people free not put them in chains. He does not put mankind down but calls them up to a future that He provides in the Beloved. In Christ, He has taken responsibility for the past and seeks a loving partnership with people to upgrade their identity and destiny in Him. In His realm, accountability is always connected to freedom, not sanction.

He prefers justice over judgment. His chastisement is evidence of love, not anger. He creates, shapes and molds people in His likeness. He uses every circumstance to make us like Him. His objective is to bring many people into glory through Sonship (Hebrews 2:10). People choose their own judgment when they reject their place in the Kingdom. There are two options: light and dark. Some people walk in the light, others love darkness more. Everyone receives from their choices. His mercy will always triumph over judgment (James 2:13). He is not willing for anyone to perish but that all should be with Him forever.

Grace is a weapon of mass destruction. It will overthrow every negative. It neutralizes everything contrary to God’s nature by being the revelation of that nature. Grace is always firmly placed next to any sin or error. Where sin abounds grace shows up much more powerfully (Romans 5:20). Grace is God’s abundance in the place of man’s deficiency. Grace is the foundation for confidence in God. All growth is built on grace. It gives people a place to stand in favor. Whilst they are learning to be Christ-like, God does not punish for mistakes. He provides for them. It is a huge adjustment to move from sinful man to beloved son.

The journey into being made in His image would be terrible were it not for grace. At all times people would be beset by fear, anxiety and doubt about their performance as a believer. Man can never be good enough by his own efforts. Without grace they would be enslaved to a religious spirit and at the mercy of doubt. Grace is the enjoyment of God that empowers people to love the learning in the freedom He supplies. Grace makes love, mercy and truth accessible in a way that elevates people without downgrading them first.

If God is not radiant, He is not anything. If His love is not majestic, He is diminished. If His lovingkindness is not from everlasting to everlasting, there is no living with Him forever. If His joy is not the abiding atmosphere of heaven, there is no pleasure in being there. If grace is not all-powerful, there is no place to stand that makes people confident in goodness. Whatever God is, He is relentlessly and forever. He never changes (Malachi 3:6). He remains eternally the same in Himself (Hebrews 13:8).

Grace never travels alone (1 Timothy 1:14). It is always accompanied by faith and love in and from the Lord Jesus. Only a pharisee would call grace into question. Grace is an incomparable gift (Ephesians 2:8) that allows people the freedom to cast off their captivity and experience the benefits of freedom in the process of exploration. The Father provides everything for the sake of His people (2 Corinthians 4:15) so that His grace can cover huge territory. He receives much glory from grace. All over the world multitudes of people abound in thanksgiving because grace has uplifted life and relationship with God.

His throne is made of grace and all who gather around it receive massive increases of confidence (Hebrews 4:16). In that place of secure dependence people are empowered to receive mercy. Grace is not undeserved favor. If it was then Jesus never had any. He grew in grace with God and man (Luke 2:40; Luke 2:52). He never sinned but needed grace! Grace is the empowering Presence of God to enable people to mature into what the Father wants them to become. Grace is a transformational gift because it empowers people in their place of weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). It enables them to have the confidence to grow into who God sees that they are in Christ.

It is a requirement that people enjoy grace; that they should exult and give thanks for grace. The gift of grace enables man to touch, experience and know for certain the beautiful gift of love that is the Lord Jesus Christ.

It's like, he doesn't hear a word I say
His mind is somewhere far away
And I don't know how to get there
It's like all he wants is to chill out
(She's serious)
He makes me wanna pull all my hair out
(She's always in a rush and interrupted)
Like he doesn't even care
(Like she doesn't even care)

[Demi + Joe:]
You, me
We're face to face
But we don't see eye to eye

Like fire and rain (Like fire and rain)
You can drive me insane (You can drive me insane)
But I can't stay mad at you for anything
We're Venus and Mars (Venus and Mars)
We're like different stars (like different stars)
You're the harmony to every song I sing
And I wouldn't change a thing

[Joe:]
She's always trying to save the day
Just wanna let my music play
She's all or nothing
But my feeling's never change

[Demi (Joe:)]
Why does he try to read my mind?
(I try to read her mind)
It's not good to psychoanalyze
(She tries to pick a fight to get attention)
That's what all of my friends say
(That's what all of my friends say)

[Demi + Joe:]
You, me
We're face to face
But we don't see eye to eye

Like fire and rain (Like fire and rain)
You can drive me insane (You can drive me insane)
But I can't stay mad at you for anything
We're Venus and Mars (Venus and Mars)
We're like different stars (like different stars)
but you're the harmony to every song I sing
And I wouldn't change a thing

[J:] When I'm yes, she's no
[D:] When I hold on, he just lets go
[J + D:] We're perfectly imperfect
But I wouldn't change a thing, no

Like fire and rain (Like fire and rain)
You can drive me insane (You can drive me insane)
But I can't stay mad at you for anything
We're Venus and Mars (Venus and Mars)
We're like different stars (like different stars)
but you're the harmony to every song I sing
And I wouldn't change a thing

But I can't stay mad at you for anything
We're Venus and Mars (Venus and Mars)
We're like different stars (like different stars)
but you're the harmony to every song I sing
And I wouldn't change a
Wouldn't change a thing

Come as you are

Come as You Are

You are the reason
For blue in the sky
Yes, you are the reason why
Snow covers winter
And melts into spring
And rivers meet the sea

God is here for you
And you were made for him
He’ll give you more of everything
Cause he has always loved you
His promises are true, so true
If you

Chorus:
Come as you are
Don’t change a thing
Open your heart
He’ll walk right in
Come as you are
No alibis
His love for you
Will never die

There is a heaven
Open your eyes
And there you have no disguise
He’ll never leave you
No need to hide
He’s always by your side

If you just believe
There is a way you’ll see
It’s just one step to eternity
And he will always love you
This promise will be true, so true
If you

Repeat chorus

Daddy,

I need you. My emotions are going CRAZY. I feel so depressed and alone and angry and sad and just exhausted! Please Jesus, help me. I feel like I am drowning in this sea of bitter anguish and I can't see straight. I NEED you.

Please Jesus, I can't do this on my own.

But Job replied, "You talk as one of the foolish women speak. Should we accept only
good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?" Job 2:10

Shall we at once lose all our confidence in our great Benefactor the
moment He takes away our comforts, and visits us with pain?

"The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." Job 1:21

Feelings

Lord Jesus,

I don't know what to think of these feelings. I need your help with this warfare that I am experiencing. I feel somehow that I am unwanted or a nuisance and that I'm not wanted by people. Lord Jesus, I need you. I feel so bogged down by these feelings that I feel for relyt and all the implications that come with that. Oh Jesus please, I sacrifice them to you. You are in charge of my emotions and being attracted to someone is not a sin! I need you to RENEW my mind. Lord Please clear my mind. I can't do any of this without you. Lord please help me to clean and to organize my things. Lord help me with bills and with a a new purse and with Joe and with Mom and with just all the feelings of trying to figure out this life. Lord help me with the emotions of this job offer and all the implications. Help me with the emotions of community ups and downs. THANK you for one year anniversary! Lord I'm scared of hurting devon bc I like him. Lord is it your will that I would be with ...I just don't like being confrontational and it's hard and I just feel so confused. Lord, help me to just LET GO and stop overanalyzing. Jesus please help me just to love like you do and to follow you no matter what. Take this heavy load of worry and anxiety and fill me up with your PEACE. I need you! I need you to show me if I am just thinking that I kinda like him or if I really have a reason to think that he does. Lord please help me to just be filled with you and to know that you are in charge and no matter what know that your life is being filled up in me.

Please help me not to take things so seriously. Lord take my heart and guard it. I don't want to just give it to a boy instead of you. I need you to help me. Lord, it is eating me up inside and I need you to FILL me. Lord please draw me to you.

I give up my need to be noticed. I give up my need for attention from anyone but YOU.

you are my shelter. You are my husband. come and captivate me Lord. Captivate me. Hold me