Sunday, December 19, 2010

People Pleasing sucks.

I think the Lord used today to overload me with people I couldn't please and then when I did please them it didn't satisfy me so that I would be so sick of trying to earn affection by people pleasing. I'm tired of running around frantically wondering what people think of me on a certain whim. I'm tired of caring whether they will invite me or reject me. I'm just tired of it. I want to love because you love Jesus. I want to work for you. I want to give because of you. Not because of people's reactions. I want to know that I am beautiful. That I am wanted. That I have a necessary part. That You love me. GOD!! Scream in my ears again and shake me that you LOVE ME!!! I need to know that you have forgiven me and love me. I don't feel it. I feel sick and unwanted. Daddy, it feels so empty. I want to repent of my unforgiveness toward A and A. Daddy, Please help me to love them like you do. To stop loving them because I want their stupid approval. Jesus, Please help me with work tomorrow!! I can't do this on my own. I NEED YOU. Please help me. Please help me. Jesus I can't do this on my own. I don't have the strength. Help me with the photos. Help me with serving. Help me with my family. I feel so alone and I feel so sick. I need you and I just want to be babyed and loved. I feel so awful. God ease my head and my mind and all of my thoughts. I give them all up to you. I believe that you forgive me and that you love me.

HOLD ME TIL YOU ARE DONE.

HOLD ME TIL YOU ARE DONE.

HOLD ME TIL YOU ARE DONE.


"Hold onto the truth that I love you. Hold onto the fact that I will NEVER leave you. Hold onto my word that is always true. Hold onto the promise that I am the friend that sticks closer than a brother. Hold onto the fact that I know every thought in your head and why you think it and what to do about it. I am not confused or befuddled by your problems. They are not overwhelming to me. They are not "too much" for me to handle. I have handled worse, Kristina. Hold onto my promise that you are NOT in this alone. You will never be in this battle alone. I am so PROUD of you for not giving into self pity and just sitting in it. It is much harder to fight it. You looked outside of yourself and looked to others. You gave and gave til you had nothing left. My darling, my precious sweetheart, REST IN ME. I have many great things in store for you. Sometimes you have to come to the end of yourself to reach the beginning of recognizing my provision in your utter weakness. This gospel is not one for the strong. It is for those who realize that their dependance holds the key to the greatest power that is available. Hold onto me. My darling, I have never let go of you. You fight me, but I will still hold you. I will still hold you. I am still loving you. You are precious to me and I will shout and shout and shout until all the lies swirling around your being are silenced and only love remains. Rest in my Love. Hold onto my Truth. I will not give you more than you can handle. We are a team and My Team always wins. Be assured that you are well taken care of. Goodnight darling. I sing over you."



I love you Jesus. Thank you. You always know what to say when I need it. Goodnight my love. :)

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Dream

So I was in this room with other people I think from community taking a test and I was frustrated because I thought I kept marking the wrong answers. So I ended up leaving the room and running to my car, all the while I had a thought in the back of my head that the answers might not have been actually wrong, they were just not the same that everyone else had. I saw Rosi out by my car and he was frustrated with the same thing and we bonded a little about that and then I got in my car and started driving and Zak and a van of community people was beside me while I was driving the same place as them and I saw 2 deer on the side of the road and I was like awwwwwww deer on the side of the road, so I slowed down and opened my window and was touched by their beauty and I was really excited but then I started going because I realized the other van was going to leave me behind but before I could get going a BABY FAWN jumped right into my car through my passenger side window!!! I was flabbergasted and amazed and excited and scared all at the same time that my car did a little loop and I took a different road than the van was taking. I was really upset because I wanted to be with the van and I didn't know where this other road was leading me. So we went down this road and I saw some dark foreboding corn fields but heck if I was going to let my little fawn treasure of a deer go out in that creepy place even though it looked safe from cars so then we kept going down the road and ended up going to this empty mall type place but there were no stores. I ended up losing the deer when I was getting back in the car and then met up with Zak again in the van somehow and he said that he and Tyler had a word from God for me and prophesied with exactness what I had eaten and bought ... and I knew they weren't there, so I knew it was from God ....and THEN they told me that I was upset about the test but I didn't have to be because God LOVED me and that it was all right. THEN I was transported and I was at my mom/dad's house and I was watching a movie about spiritual things I think and it was talking about shopping at one point I remember, it kinda looked like that shut up poster in the prayer room at the gladstone in the dream but it was describing different parts of personalities and how it was all fitting together and even though there were lots of parts, they all formed to make one word and somehow it was good and joining relationship with others. Then my mom stormed in the room in her angry scary mode and she said, "WHY do you always have to watch movies all the time?!?!??!" And I felt so much shame, condemnation and then I felt resolve to keep it on just to spite her. So she left the room and I felt like that at any time she was going to bust down the doors that I was standing against with my foot near the door to try to keep it closed. The doors on the room I was in don't keep locked and someone can easily open them. I was upset that I couldn't watch the rest of the movie but I felt shame that maybe I do watch too many movies and maybe I shouldn't see Narnia because my mom would disapprove. I was also upset because I thought my mom was better but she seemed to be reverting back to old patterns. Then my dream ended!!!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

ideas

Hey Daddy,

So I wanted to express some ideas to you. I need you and I need your advice. Please help me. I want to come back to a romance with you but I'm not sure what that is going to look like. I have so many ideas going through my head and I feel like that I live most of my life trying to get away from "bad" feelings and get to "good" feelings whether the medium which I use is healthy it is irrelevant. I just want what is going to make me feel good and I want it quickly. So Lord, Please increase my desires to not only feeling good but going DEEP in you. GOING DEEP into intimacy. I want hunger. I want yearning. I want passion. I want to go to a worship session and feel like I just took a drink from a deep well. I want every revelation of your cross to strike new passion within me. I'm tired of the dry day to day mundane, I want to experience you. Lord, I know that you aren't boring, I just know that I have too many thoughts and stuff that I am chasing simultaneously that my focus is slightly off kilter. Lord Jesus, I know that a guy can teach me many things about you, I ask that all of my relationships would not be selfish but be loving and pushing towards you. I ask that you would make me selfless, giving and unassuming in my relationships. Remove my expectations and my dashed hopes. I ask that you would renew me once again with your affections for me so that I can experience your presence anew in a different and hopeful way. I ask that you would help me in my job at First Watch that I can truly love the people and the staff and the management and to serve you in everyway that I can with an awesome and amazing attitude. Draw me closer into you and FILL me with the abundance of your HOLY SPIRIT that I may overflow with hope. Thank you Daddy, Draw me into the intimacy of your heart, let me feel your emotions. Jesus stop Emily's physical pain, I ask that you would draw her close tonight and fill her mind with dreams from you and let your heart be one with hers.

Bless my dreams and fill my empty and wandering thoughts with you, Jesus!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Graham Cooke "The Gift of Confidence"

THE GIFT OF CONFIDENCE

by Graham Cooke

God is not an optimist. He is a realist with a joyful disposition. He is also confident, carefree and generous. He smiles, laughs, sings and dances through His relationships. He knows the heart of man, yet is no pessimist. He does not get hung up on negatives; instead, He prefers goodness, mercy, grace and lovingkindness to display His demeanor. His love never ceases and never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8).

He will use truth to set people free not put them in chains. He does not put mankind down but calls them up to a future that He provides in the Beloved. In Christ, He has taken responsibility for the past and seeks a loving partnership with people to upgrade their identity and destiny in Him. In His realm, accountability is always connected to freedom, not sanction.

He prefers justice over judgment. His chastisement is evidence of love, not anger. He creates, shapes and molds people in His likeness. He uses every circumstance to make us like Him. His objective is to bring many people into glory through Sonship (Hebrews 2:10). People choose their own judgment when they reject their place in the Kingdom. There are two options: light and dark. Some people walk in the light, others love darkness more. Everyone receives from their choices. His mercy will always triumph over judgment (James 2:13). He is not willing for anyone to perish but that all should be with Him forever.

Grace is a weapon of mass destruction. It will overthrow every negative. It neutralizes everything contrary to God’s nature by being the revelation of that nature. Grace is always firmly placed next to any sin or error. Where sin abounds grace shows up much more powerfully (Romans 5:20). Grace is God’s abundance in the place of man’s deficiency. Grace is the foundation for confidence in God. All growth is built on grace. It gives people a place to stand in favor. Whilst they are learning to be Christ-like, God does not punish for mistakes. He provides for them. It is a huge adjustment to move from sinful man to beloved son.

The journey into being made in His image would be terrible were it not for grace. At all times people would be beset by fear, anxiety and doubt about their performance as a believer. Man can never be good enough by his own efforts. Without grace they would be enslaved to a religious spirit and at the mercy of doubt. Grace is the enjoyment of God that empowers people to love the learning in the freedom He supplies. Grace makes love, mercy and truth accessible in a way that elevates people without downgrading them first.

If God is not radiant, He is not anything. If His love is not majestic, He is diminished. If His lovingkindness is not from everlasting to everlasting, there is no living with Him forever. If His joy is not the abiding atmosphere of heaven, there is no pleasure in being there. If grace is not all-powerful, there is no place to stand that makes people confident in goodness. Whatever God is, He is relentlessly and forever. He never changes (Malachi 3:6). He remains eternally the same in Himself (Hebrews 13:8).

Grace never travels alone (1 Timothy 1:14). It is always accompanied by faith and love in and from the Lord Jesus. Only a pharisee would call grace into question. Grace is an incomparable gift (Ephesians 2:8) that allows people the freedom to cast off their captivity and experience the benefits of freedom in the process of exploration. The Father provides everything for the sake of His people (2 Corinthians 4:15) so that His grace can cover huge territory. He receives much glory from grace. All over the world multitudes of people abound in thanksgiving because grace has uplifted life and relationship with God.

His throne is made of grace and all who gather around it receive massive increases of confidence (Hebrews 4:16). In that place of secure dependence people are empowered to receive mercy. Grace is not undeserved favor. If it was then Jesus never had any. He grew in grace with God and man (Luke 2:40; Luke 2:52). He never sinned but needed grace! Grace is the empowering Presence of God to enable people to mature into what the Father wants them to become. Grace is a transformational gift because it empowers people in their place of weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). It enables them to have the confidence to grow into who God sees that they are in Christ.

It is a requirement that people enjoy grace; that they should exult and give thanks for grace. The gift of grace enables man to touch, experience and know for certain the beautiful gift of love that is the Lord Jesus Christ.


Sunday, November 14, 2010

It's like, he doesn't hear a word I say
His mind is somewhere far away
And I don't know how to get there
It's like all he wants is to chill out
(She's serious)
He makes me wanna pull all my hair out
(She's always in a rush and interrupted)
Like he doesn't even care
(Like she doesn't even care)

[Demi + Joe:]
You, me
We're face to face
But we don't see eye to eye

Like fire and rain (Like fire and rain)
You can drive me insane (You can drive me insane)
But I can't stay mad at you for anything
We're Venus and Mars (Venus and Mars)
We're like different stars (like different stars)
You're the harmony to every song I sing
And I wouldn't change a thing

[Joe:]
She's always trying to save the day
Just wanna let my music play
She's all or nothing
But my feeling's never change

[Demi (Joe:)]
Why does he try to read my mind?
(I try to read her mind)
It's not good to psychoanalyze
(She tries to pick a fight to get attention)
That's what all of my friends say
(That's what all of my friends say)

[Demi + Joe:]
You, me
We're face to face
But we don't see eye to eye

Like fire and rain (Like fire and rain)
You can drive me insane (You can drive me insane)
But I can't stay mad at you for anything
We're Venus and Mars (Venus and Mars)
We're like different stars (like different stars)
but you're the harmony to every song I sing
And I wouldn't change a thing

[J:] When I'm yes, she's no
[D:] When I hold on, he just lets go
[J + D:] We're perfectly imperfect
But I wouldn't change a thing, no

Like fire and rain (Like fire and rain)
You can drive me insane (You can drive me insane)
But I can't stay mad at you for anything
We're Venus and Mars (Venus and Mars)
We're like different stars (like different stars)
but you're the harmony to every song I sing
And I wouldn't change a thing

But I can't stay mad at you for anything
We're Venus and Mars (Venus and Mars)
We're like different stars (like different stars)
but you're the harmony to every song I sing
And I wouldn't change a
Wouldn't change a thing

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Come as you are

Come as You Are

You are the reason
For blue in the sky
Yes, you are the reason why
Snow covers winter
And melts into spring
And rivers meet the sea

God is here for you
And you were made for him
He’ll give you more of everything
Cause he has always loved you
His promises are true, so true
If you

Chorus:
Come as you are
Don’t change a thing
Open your heart
He’ll walk right in
Come as you are
No alibis
His love for you
Will never die

There is a heaven
Open your eyes
And there you have no disguise
He’ll never leave you
No need to hide
He’s always by your side

If you just believe
There is a way you’ll see
It’s just one step to eternity
And he will always love you
This promise will be true, so true
If you

Repeat chorus

Monday, October 11, 2010

Daddy,

I need you. My emotions are going CRAZY. I feel so depressed and alone and angry and sad and just exhausted! Please Jesus, help me. I feel like I am drowning in this sea of bitter anguish and I can't see straight. I NEED you.

Please Jesus, I can't do this on my own.

But Job replied, "You talk as one of the foolish women speak. Should we accept only
good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?" Job 2:10

Shall we at once lose all our confidence in our great Benefactor the
moment He takes away our comforts, and visits us with pain?

"The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." Job 1:21

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Feelings

Lord Jesus,

I don't know what to think of these feelings. I need your help with this warfare that I am experiencing. I feel somehow that I am unwanted or a nuisance and that I'm not wanted by people. Lord Jesus, I need you. I feel so bogged down by these feelings that I feel for relyt and all the implications that come with that. Oh Jesus please, I sacrifice them to you. You are in charge of my emotions and being attracted to someone is not a sin! I need you to RENEW my mind. Lord Please clear my mind. I can't do any of this without you. Lord please help me to clean and to organize my things. Lord help me with bills and with a a new purse and with Joe and with Mom and with just all the feelings of trying to figure out this life. Lord help me with the emotions of this job offer and all the implications. Help me with the emotions of community ups and downs. THANK you for one year anniversary! Lord I'm scared of hurting devon bc I like him. Lord is it your will that I would be with ...I just don't like being confrontational and it's hard and I just feel so confused. Lord, help me to just LET GO and stop overanalyzing. Jesus please help me just to love like you do and to follow you no matter what. Take this heavy load of worry and anxiety and fill me up with your PEACE. I need you! I need you to show me if I am just thinking that I kinda like him or if I really have a reason to think that he does. Lord please help me to just be filled with you and to know that you are in charge and no matter what know that your life is being filled up in me.

Please help me not to take things so seriously. Lord take my heart and guard it. I don't want to just give it to a boy instead of you. I need you to help me. Lord, it is eating me up inside and I need you to FILL me. Lord please draw me to you.

I give up my need to be noticed. I give up my need for attention from anyone but YOU.

you are my shelter. You are my husband. come and captivate me Lord. Captivate me. Hold me

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Verses

_Verses_

Titus 2:11 this way "God's readiness to give and forgive is now public. Salvation's available for everyone!"

"When you pray, I will listen" - Jeremiah 29:12

“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or God? Or am I still trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10 (NIV)

1 Kings 8:50 And forgive your people, who have sinned against you; forgive all the offenses they have committed against you, and cause their conquerors to show them mercy.

1 Thessalonians 2:4 On the contrary, we speak as men approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts.

"Those who look to God are radiant, their faces are never covered with shame" - Psalm 34:5

Psalms 139

13 For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.

17 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
18 If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You.

Lamentations 3

22It is because of the Lord’s mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed, because His [tender] compassions fail not. 23They are new every morning; great and abundant is Your stability and faithfulness. 24The Lord is my portion or share, says my living being (my inner self); therefore will I hope in Him and wait expectantly for Him. 25The Lord is good to those who wait hopefully and expectantly for Him, to those who seek Him [inquire of and for Him and require Him by right of necessity and on the authority of God's word].

“Whoever wishes to be great . . . must be the servant . . . just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and give His life a ransom for many” (Mt. 20:26–28,

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. (Rom.12:1)

"My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." - Psalms 73:26

I sent you to harvest where you didn't plant; others had already done the work, and you will gather the harvest." - John 4:38

Lord, work in me to keep me praying with my heart and mind full of the Word. (Colossians 3:16)

Lord, work in me real joy at all times so I truly rejoice always. (1 Thessalonians 5:16)

Lord God, you are at work in me both to will and to do your good pleasure. You told me to rejoice always and to pray without ceasing, giving thanks in everything. Give me the desire and the power to pray without ceasing in faith, never ceasing to joyfully give thanks to you. Fill me with your love, and cause me to rejoice always in the truth of your Word. (Philippians 2:13 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18; Corinthians 13:6)

When people revile and persecute me and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for Christ's sake, I rejoice and am exceedingly glad, for great is my reward in heaven, for so they treated the prophets who were before me. Mt 5.12

FORGIVEN

"When I don’t measure up to much in this life....Oh, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ!! In this life I know what I’ve been.....But here in Your arms I know what I am...I’m forgiven... I’m forgiven! I don’t have to carry the weight of whoI’ve been cuz I’m forgiven!!" Can I hear an AMEN!?! Woo!

Forgiven

FORGIVEN

Well the past is playing with my head

And failure knocks me down again

I am reminded of the wrong that I have said and done

And that devil just won’t let me forget

In this life I know what I’ve been
But here in Your arms I know what I am
I’m forgiven I’m forgiven
I don’t have to carry the weight of who
I’ve been ’cause I’m forgiven

And my mistakes are running through my mind
And I relive my days in the middle of the night
And I struggle with my pain
And wrestle with my pride

Sometimes I feel alone and I cry
When I don’t fit in and I don’t feel like I belong anywhere
When I don’t measure up to much in this life
Oh, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ ‘Cause ….

In this life I know what I’ve been
But here in Your arms I know what I am
I’m forgiven I’m forgiven
I don’t have to carry the weight of who
I’ve been ’cause I’m forgiven

The Message puts Titus 2:11 this way "God's readiness to give and forgive is now public. Salvation's available for everyone!"

I don't need to work my way to redemption or forgiveness, because I can never work hard enough. I will never be able to be worthy.

But Titus 2:11 tells me that God is ready to give and forgive. Regardless of what we have done and what we have been.

The chorus in the song Forgiven by Sanctus Real really speaks to my heart ...

In this life I know what I’ve been But here in Your arms I know what I am I’m forgiven I’m forgiven

I don’t have to carry the weight of who I’ve been ’cause I’m forgiven

Praise God I am more than redeemed, I am forgiven!

Prayer Team

Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center

"Changing the Outcome"

___________________________________________

"When you pray, I will listen" - Jeremiah 29:12

Power vs. rejection

God desired for me to handle this challenging and painful situation with understanding and compassion. He wanted me to pray for that person, and see them as His child who had made a mistake and didn’t realize how their words and actions affected others. He wanted me to forgive them.

“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or God? Or am I still trying to please men?

If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10 (NIV)

However, despite my procrastination in handling things God’s way, over the next few weeks, God repeatedly intervened and reassured me of His love. I stumbled across sweet Bible verses dealing with overcoming rejection. My weekly Bible study topic was on rejection, my daily email devotions touched on rejection, and my pastor’s sermon was about rejection that Sunday.

Could all of those things just have been incredible coincidences? Definitely not! I knew it was the awesome work of my Lord and Savior, who cared about me enough to let me know that He was with me during this time of turmoil. He gently reassured me of my worth in His eyes, and reminded me that I did not need ‘man’s’ approval, only His approval.

God’s love helped me to wash away the pride from my eyes, and allow Him to wash my soul with His mercy and grace. In His arms, I was reminded that I am His and that He loves and adores me despite my flaws and insecurities. As a result, I was able to take my focus off of my rejecter, and instead focus on my approver – Jesus.

Isn’t it so comforting to know that you never have to try to earn Jesus’ approval, and that you can live with a peace of mind knowing that He accepts you, no matter what.

Although Jesus may not always approve of our actions or choices, He always approves of us as a person whom He created, whom He loves, and whom He thought was important enough to die for.

Dear Lord, I pray for Your wisdom on how to deal with situations in which I feel hurt, rejected and worthless. Fill me with Your love so that I can love others, even when I do not feel loved in return. Please help me to remember that the only One who I need to seek approval from is You, and that it is in You alone, that I can truly believe that I am worthy and unconditionally loved. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Application Steps

Ask God for the supernatural ability to forgive your rejecter. Remember who you are in God’s eyes is all that really matters.

Reflections

Are you allowing the opinion of one person to affect how you feel about yourself?

Power Verses

1 Kings 8:50 And forgive your people, who have sinned against you; forgive all the offenses they have committed against you, and cause their conquerors to show them mercy. (NIV)

1 Thessalonians 2:4 On the contrary, we speak as men approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts. (NIV)

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

I had a dream last night.

Bear (menacing) chasing a guy and a girl over a bridge.
Then tiger (young but not a baby) steps in to fight bear on the bridge.
The guy is behind the girl standing on the other side of the bridge watching as they fight.
The tiger and the bear fall into the river.
Bear starts fighting something else and the tiger swims away.
Bear carcass floats to the top and it looks like a horse.
The girl and the tiger run away.

I felt distinctly that the tiger was me. (I was born on the year of the Tiger and this year is the year of the Tiger)

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

As of yesterday, February 1st, 2010 ...

The Lord told me that I would no longer be working for myself or someone else, but I would be working for Him.

:)

"From now on....You will be working for me."



Love, Krissy

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Joy in the Journey

http://www.stlyrics.com/songs/m/michaelcard9232/joyinthejourney310363.html

There is a joy in the journey
There's a light we can love on the way
There is a wonder and wildness to life
And freedom for those who obey

And all those who seek it shall find it
A pardon for all who believe
Hope for the hopeless and sight for the blind

To all who've been born in the Spirit
And who share incarnation with Him
Who belong to eternity stranded in time
And weary of struggling with sin

Forget not the hope that's before you
And never stop counting the cost
Remember the hopelessness when you were lost

There is a joy in the journey
There's a light we can love on the way
There is a wonder and wildness to life
And freedom for those who obey

And freedom for those who obey...
He is the truth, our life, and everything we should aim for, to be like, to glorify in our workouts, studies, and jobs. The pastor preached that I was made in His image. I was wonderfully made in my mother’s womb…I am beautiful simply because I am His daughter and I am covered with His blood that paid the price for my death and my sins. I am beautiful simply because of Him. I am perfected because of Him.

You start to think over your past week and all of the thoughts, worries, and ways you planned to change your life. Then you began to understand all of the lies that you were starting to listen to and the truth that you simply silenced. You began to cry thinking how selfish you had been. All of those thoughts could have been captured, lifted up, and I could have been focused on others instead of focusing on the ways of men. You realize that you tend to beat yourself up for not looking the best, being the smartest, or having the nice things, but in reality you have everything everyone wants, you have the answer to the world’s whim; you have Him.

Jesus is my Savior, my life, my rock, and my shield. He has made me beautiful in His image and intelligent by His grace. He daily gives me wisdom and continues to pull on my heart. This is the truth that I need to tell myself, not what I need to look like or how I am not enough, but simply focus on Him. He chose me before the beginning of time. He has pulled on my heart and aligned everything according to His plan. He has made me for His glory. He is the way, the truth, and the life. I want to be focused on Him.

Are your eyes focused on the “me” or the Him?

I really want to emphasize how important it is that we hold all thoughts captive as obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). We naturally are too prideful to hold our thoughts captive and when we are prideful and do not hold our thoughts captive we do not leave room for the Lord to intervene, we do not allow love into our lives (Psalm 10:4). So all in all this note is written to warn you to capture your thoughts and give them to the Lord. Set your eyes, mind, and heart on Him.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Wonderfully Made

Psalms 139

13 For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.

17 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
18 If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You.

I saw as this verse was played out before me tonight.. I spent a good portion of my evening holding five day old as he slept. I sat and admired him, just as if he was my own. I meditated on this verse, thinking about how He crafted each little finger and toe along with his little nose and ears. Blessed with a full head of hair and the Father knows each other them. It amazes me how intricately detailed we are designed. Even at a few days old, he is showing resemblance of his mother. I have always had a soft spot for babies, as they can bring a smile from ear to ear on my face. I remember when I visited the orphanage in Burkina Faso, West Africa last year, I was completely heart broken at what I witnessed. I remember seeing so many beautiful faces peering back at me from their cribs. I grabbed one to hold, then soon I grabbed another, yet it still wasn’t enough. I eventually was holding four babies at a time. My heart rejoiced as their countenances sprung forward with smiles and ooow’s and goooo’s.. The thought that many of them had lost their parents to AID’s or war. Some babies had other family members, but none of them really wanted the obligation a baby would bring. I share all of this to say..

Our days are fashioned by Him..

Each breath we breathe is a blessing He shares..

His thoughts of us are greater than the hairs on our head..

He loves each of us..

-(jon curtis)

Joy in the Mornin'

Lamentations 3

22It is because of the Lord’s mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed, because His [tender] compassions fail not. 23They are new every morning; great and abundant is Your stability and faithfulness. 24The Lord is my portion or share, says my living being (my inner self); therefore will I hope in Him and wait expectantly for Him. 25The Lord is good to those who wait hopefully and expectantly for Him, to those who seek Him [inquire of and for Him and require Him by right of necessity and on the authority of God's word].

“Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning.” -Psalm 30:5

A perspective on Freedom

from WarriorPrincess for God

Freedom

How do you get from here to there? How do you stop hoping and wishing and praying something will change, when it already has..?
If you never believe that you're free, you will never live like you're free. Knowledge can be power to some extent.

There's always a difference in 'knowing' something's true and -believing what you 'know' to be true. You can argue and whine about it all you want- if I just knew how to do it, if I knew what to say, if I could only get here, I'm sure I'd make it the rest of the way...if if if if if IF! Get out of it. Quit dreaming about it, start doing something to change it.Whatever it is. I've done that a lot, and it's no way to go.
You have all the knowledge you need to survive. You'll learn more along the way , but if you never get out of that pit you're living in.. A: You'll just keep whining and never be happy--because you will never see the beauty of the great outdoors right in front of you. And B: You're own quest for knowing or wishful thinking can stop you from actually getting there. You just gotta live a little. None of this: OHhMyGoshhh, if I try GettiN' OuT.. if I get hiT with some raiiiin, thN there mIght bee A fluud...!?-...
Experiance can give you understanding of your knowledge, and if you LET it...Wisdom.

We are free. Despite our feelings and some of our circumstances, we are not controlled by a robotic God-who does not love us, who's not there to care or help us. We just have to realize we are the ones stopping ourselves from getting out of the 'hell' we're in. Instead of blaming other people for how you feel, or even God, as hard as it is, forgive them, let it go, move on. Instead of being selfish- realize you're not the only one.

I'm not trying to be ignore the fact that people do quite often misunderstand and hurt eachother, but we've come to believe we somehow deserve better than the rest of the world. And THIS is how WE should be TREATED. That's just pride, and honestly, America is one of the worst for that.
I've just been there, done it. Seen it. Heard it. Hit it. Fell....and it's not that great at all. :/
Anyway, just a thought.

to Val

Hey Valerie!

So good to hear from you! I would love to give you an update. I'm glad you liked the card, I really do love Ahna, Monica and Em and I'm learning so much with them.

1) I've been in a season of being "Quenched" (that's my word for this year). Is 41:17-20. The Father is teaching me that He really really can satisfy that deep thirst and dryness in my spirit. He is wooing me back to Him in such gentleness and such respect. That He loves me JUST for me, not what I learn, what I can offer, how I can serve, how I love, or how I respond...But when I choose to accept His Love it will really sink in and it won't bounce off in lies and disillusionment. Then I can love from the overflow of His affection. It's all about intimacy with HIM...not just for m-n-stry!

Also I've learned how much the H.S. works in us and through us to give us the POWER and the DESIRE to want him. That my soul overflows with the thought of wanting to be with Him, to please my Beloved and to spend time with my cherished one. I wondered what the difference was between C's that "just believed" and those who actually had this overwhelming power and longing...and I attributed it to personality. BUT that is not it at all! It is being FILLED with the H.S., being baptized by His Spirit! He is the One who gives the power and the passion and the gifts! Of course it's not about the gifts, but the Fruit of His Spirit gives evidence to His work in the life of the believer. What a revelation...I really had no idea! That's the difference! How profoundly simple. It opens up your eyes to see things in the unseen realm with much more clarity. What do you think about this? Have you ever considered being baptized in the Spirit???

Also you would be happy to know that I am beginning to learn how to check my thoughts/feelings with the Truth of his Word! Believing the Truth about what He says about me, others adn issues.... on f-ith rather than just waiting til I actually feel it.

2) Job. What job? Yeah, my boss told me this past Saturday that he likes my work and who I am as a person...but doesn't have enough money to keep me on as an employee. (and it's true). I have a strange peace about it, even though it is a jarring transition and change. The Father is teaching me about finding my worth not in a position or how much money I contribute, but that He loves me even when I feel like I have nothing to bring to the table. It's actually been really healing for my housemates because I'm not as angry, depressed and so frustrated. My boss is a very broken man, and I think being around his pessimistic attitude so much really took a toll on my sanity...BUT Our Father taught me so much about Sp-r-tual warfare, pr-y-r, and learning that I can't "change" others to believe G-d's best for them. I can present truth and encouragement....but They ultimately have to choose to accept it for themselves. I had to learn to "let go". It's been a good learning process and I've been seeing how the Father is providing other income (ahna got a $500 bonus, someone wants senior photos $265, and we cut some of our budget in gas, (since my trek to work was 45 min each way). Also I had an interview with an amazing graphics company. I think that I will get the job, but the Father wants to make sure that it doesn't define me and that I learn to trust Him in the process, not just in the result. I've attached an excerpt from a story written by my friend Mel that really illustrates the conceptual parts of this process that I've been learning with the Father.

3) Breakthrough! Ahna and I (and my housemates) had another falling out during late December and we came to a place of understanding that if the Father didn't help our relationship that our pitiful human efforts were in vain. I stopped trying to "figure it out"....and just admitted in humility (Jas 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the the Father, and he shall lift you up.) I didn't know how to fix it and asked the Father to provide wisdom like He promises... (Jas 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask the Father, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.) Guess what? He did. But in a way I didn't expect. He told me to repent to my housemates for not really letting them get to know me...for hiding behind walls. I had to realize that.... wow...I really did do this. Actually joining this community was SUCH a struggle for me (you know this!) and I haven't actually allowed myself to "move in" mentally because I knew it would be temporary. But the Father had great plans...He wanted me to build roots deep in His marvelous love for me and part of that was ALLOWING others the privilege of loving me! and actually receiving it without blocking it and allowing it to hit and bounce off of the walls I had so conveniently placed around myself. They REALLY do love me! I just have finally allowed them to know me....not the pre-China me, but the Krissy I am now.

The boys? eh! That has been a challenge, as boys are very different that the superior female gender.... (hehehe, just kidding!). I have found myself liking one of them off and on, comparing him to Andrew and being hurt and elated at different parts of our friendship. I have finally come to a happy medium, knowing that I am so valued by our Father and whether or not this boy chooses to pursue has no affect on my worth or value. I can just enjoy my friendship with him and build him up in the Father and trust that in due timing He will provide a husband. I don't have to be in charge of that area and I can just LET GO and TRUST. It's really quite freeing....not having to know all the answers. :) Oh, and with Andrew...the Father has brought SUCH restoration that I had NEVER thought possible. I'm no longer bitter or resentful towards him AND I don't have feelings for him! It's such an amazing little mix. I love how the Father brings healing to relationships.

4) Family - I'm learning that my Dad loves me even when I don't have a job. Which is HUGE because I think this is a big area where I doubted his love for me and his ability to be proud of me if I didn't have something to offer. He told me that "it was out of my control." AND he told me I don't have to pay my car payment this next month...he will help me out. (also HUGE! He doesn't just do that!!!) He assured me that "it would be okay. and that times are hard right now". WOW.
My mom is still in about the same place, but I don't really have to deal with the effects because I live apart from it for the most part. SO that helps! She actually had a good day on Christmas and went with us to see the movie Avatar and seemed to really enjoy herself. Rare!
My brother just spent a bunch of time with us during his Christmas break and it was flipping AMAZING. I love that kid so much it just hurts. We went to Dave and Buster's and played Basketball and I won the jackpot on the little "light that goes in a circle and you have to stop it on the jackpot" game.


I hope that was a satisfactory update, I cannot even begin to touch on the things that I have been learning...it seems like such a season of growth after my foundation had been torn up and rebuilt...now I am actually seeing Him build and how I can just love Him and through loving Him in intimacy He will love others through teaching me! Not about me at all! It's all about Him! He is so wonderful. How exciting!


1) What have you been learning?
2) What is your favorite/least favorite experience in teaching so far?
3) How is team life going? I've been lifting up the requests that you gave for each of the girls.


Cya~Krissy~ aka Puppy
http://www.waterthroughtheword.com/radio_archives.php
"Those who look to God are radiant, their faces are never covered with shame" - Psalm 34:5

"Heavenly Father, teach us to seek Christ's identity instead of cultural status, kingdom treasures instead of worldly wealth, and heavenly approval instead of social popularity. Surround us with others who desperately want to die to selfishness, lust, greed, and revenge. I pray that our only desire will be to know You, and make You known to others through Your uncompromising love. In Jesus' Name. Amen."

Outpouring at IWU

Hey guys,

Check this out!!

I was reading some of the cool testimonies from the ihop awakening thing. and there was one from IWU.... so you may enjoy this!!!
http://www.ihop.org/Publisher/Article.aspx?ID=1000060006
Move of the Holy Spirit (Indiana Wesleyan University)
Small groups of prayer have been breaking out all over campus. There have been outbreaks of repentance and confession and healing and freedom. There have been baptisms of the Holy Spirit. We have started an unofficial prayer room that goes on 2 hours 6 days a week. There have been small groups of equipping of the Revelatory Gifts! People are learning to prophesy almost INSTANTLY! It's incredible! Praise God! Holy Spirit is on the move here!
--
Prayer is an attitude toward life that sees everything as ultimately sacred, everything as potentially life-changing, everything as revelatory of life’s meaning. It is our link between dailiness and eternity. ~ Joan Chittister, OSB

Ministry to the Lord

Ministry to the Lord

by Watchman Nee

Let us note at the outset that there is little apparent difference between ministry to the House of the Lord and ministry to the Lord Himself. Many of you are doing your utmost to help your brethren, and you are laboring to save sinners and administer the affairs of the church. But let me ask you: Have you been seeking to meet the need around you, or have you been seeking to serve the Lord? Is it your fellow men you have in view, or is it Him?

Let us be quite frank. Work for the Lord undoubtedly has its attractions for the flesh. You may be thrilled when crowds gather to hear you preach, and when numbers of souls are saved. If you have to stay at home, occupied from morning to night with mundane matters, then you think: How meaningless life as! How grand it would be if I could go out and serve the Lord! If only I were free to go around ministering! But that is not spirituality. That is merely a matter of natural preference. Oh, if only we could see that much of the work done for God is not really ministry at all! He, Himself, has told us chat there was a class of Levites who busily served in the Temple, and yet they were not serving Him; they were merely serving the House. However, service to the Lord and service to the House appear so much alike that it is often difficult to differentiate between the two.

If an Israelite came along to the Temple and wanted to worship God, those Levites would come to his aid and help him offer his peace offering and his burnt offering. They would help him drag the sacrifice to the altar, and they would slay it. Surely, that was a grand work to be engaged in, reclaiming sinners and leading believers closer to the Lord! And God took account of the service of those Levites who helped men bring their peace offerings and their burnt offerings to the altar. Yet He said it was not ministry to Himself.

Brothers and sisters, there is a heavy burden on my heart that you might realize what God is after. He wants ministers who will minister to Him. "They shall come near to me to minister unto me; and they shall stand before me to offer unto me the fat and the blood. They shall minister unto me" (Ezekiel 44:15).

The thing I fear most is that many of you will go out, win sinners to the Lord, and build up believers, without ministering to the Lord Himself. Much so-called service for Him is simply following our natural inclinations. We have such active dispositions that we cannot bear to stay at home, so we run around for our own relief. We may appear to be serving sinners, or serving believers, but all the while we are serving our own flesh.

I have a dear friend who is now with the Lord. One day, after we had a time of prayer together, we read this passage in Ezekiel (44:9-26, 28, 31). She was very much older than I, and she addressed me like this: "My young brother, it was twenty years ago that I first studied this passage of Scripture."

"How did you react to it?" I asked.

She replied: "As soon as I had finished reading it, I closed my Bible, and kneeling down before the Lord, I prayed: `Lord, make me to be one who shall minister to You, not to the Temple."' Can we also pray that prayer?

But what do we really mean when we talk of serving God or serving the Temple? Here is what the Word says:

But the priests, the Levites, the sons of Zadok, that kept the charge of my sanctuary when the children of Israel went astray from me, they shall come near to me to minister unto me; and they shall stand before me to offer unto me the fat and the blood, saith the LORD God (Ezekiel 44:15).

The conditions basic to all ministries that can truly be called ministry to the Lord are drawing near to Him and standing before Him. But how hard we often find it to drag ourselves into His presence! We shrink from the solitude, and even when we do detach ourselves physically, our thoughts still keep wandering outside. Many of us can enjoy working among people, but how many of us can draw near to (God in the Holy of Holies? Yet it is only as we draw near to Him that we can minister to Him.

To come into the presence of God and kneel before Him for an hour demands all the strength we possess. We have to be violent to hold that ground. But everyone who serves the Lord knows the preciousness of such times, the sweetness of waking at midnight and spending an hour in prayer, or waking very early in the morning and getting up for an hour of prayer before the final sleep of the night.

Unless we really know what it is to draw near to God, we cannot know what it is to serve Him. It is impossible to stand afar off and still minister to Him. We cannot serve Him from a distance. There is only one place where ministry to Him is possible and that is in the Holy Place. In the outer court, you approach the people; in the Holy Place you approach the Lord.

The passage we ' have quoted emphasizes not only our need to draw near to God; it also speaks of standing before Him to minister. Today we always want to be moving on; we cannot stand still. There are, so many things claiming our attention that we are perpetually on the go. We cannot stop for a moment.

But a spiritual person knows how to stand still. He can stand before God till God makes His will known. He can stand and await orders. You who are leaders need to particularly consider this. Can you be persuaded to call a halt and not move for a little while? That is what is referred to here: "stand and minister unto me." Don't you think that a servant should await his master's orders before seeking to serve him? The Sin of presumption

There are only two types of sin before God. One is the sin of refusing to obey when He issues orders. The other is the sin of going ahead when the Lord has not issued orders. The one is rebellion; the other is presumption. The one is not doing what the Lord has required; the other is doing what the Lord has not required. Learning to stand before the Lord deals with the sin of doing what the Lord has not commanded. Brothers and sisters, how much of the work you have done has been based on the clear command of the Lord? How much have you done because of His direct instructions? And how much have you done simply on the ground that the thing you did was a good thing to do? Let me tell you that nothing so damages the Lord's interests as a "good thing." "Good things" are the greatest hindrance to the accomplishment of His will. The moment we are faced with anything wicked or unclean, we immediately recognize it as something a Christian ought to avoid, and for that reason, things, which are positively evil, are nearly not such a menace to the Lord's purpose as good things.

You think: This thing would not be wrong, or that thing is the very best that could be done so you go ahead and take action without stopping to inquire if it is the will of God. We who are His children all know that we ought not to do anything evil, but we think that if only our conscience does not forbid a thing, or if a thing commends itself to us as positively good, that is reason enough to go ahead and do it.

'That thing you contemplate doing may be very good, but are you standing before the Lord awaiting His command regarding it? "They shall stand before me" involves halting in His presence and refusing to move till He issues His orders. That is what ministry to the Lord means.

In the outer court, it is human need that governs. Just let someone come along to sacrifice an ox or a sheep, and there is work for you to do. But in the Holiest Place, there is utter solitude. Not a soul comes in. No brother or sister governs us here, nor does any committee determine our affairs. In the Holiest Place there is one authority only - the authority of the Lord. If He appoints me a task I, do it; if He appoints me no task, I do none.

But something is required of us as we stand before the Lord and minister to Him. We are required to offer Him "the fat and the blood." The blood answers the demands of His holiness and righteousness; the fat meets the requirements of His glory. The blood deals with the question of our sin; the fat deals with the question of His satisfaction. The blood removes all that belongs to the old creation; the fat brings in the new.

But such ministry is confined to a certain place: "They shall enter into my sanctuary, and they shall come near to my table to minister unto me, and they shall keep my charge" (Ezekiel 44:16). Ministry that is "unto me" is in the inner sanctuary, in the hidden place, not in the outer court, exposed to public view. People may think we are doing nothing, but service to God in the Holy Place far transcends service to the people in the outer court. Ministry Without Sweat

The same passage tells us how they must be clothed who would minister to the Lord:

They shall be clothed with linen garments; and no wool shall come upon them, while they minister in the gates of the inner court, and within. They shall have linen bonnets upon their heads, and shall have linen breeches upon their loins (Ezekiel 44:18).

Those who minister to the Lord may not wear wool. Why not? The reason is given:

"They shall not clothe themselves with anything that causes sweat" (verse 18 NKJV). No work chat produces sweat is acceptable to the Lord. But what does "sweat" signify?

We all know that the first occasion when sweat is mentioned was when Adam was driven from the Garden of Eden. After Adam sinned, God pronounced this sentence upon him: "Cursed is the ground for thy sake; in toil shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life...in the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread" (Genesis 3:19-19). It is clear that sweat is a condition of the curse. Because the curse rested on the ground, it ceased to yield its fruit without man's effort, and such effort produced sweat.

When the blessing of God is withheld, fleshly effort becomes necessary, and that causes sweat. All work that produces sweat is positively prohibited to those who minister to the Lord. Yet today what an expenditure of energy there is in work for Him! Few Christians can do any work today without sweating over it. Their work involves planning and scheming, exhorting and urging, and very much running around. It cannot be done without a great deal of fleshly zeal.

Nowadays, if there is no sweat there is no work. Before work for God can be undertaken, there is a great deal of rushing to and fro, making numerous contacts, having consultations and discussions, and finally getting the approval of various people before going ahead. As for waiting quietly in the presence of God and seeking His instructions, that is out of the question.

Yet, in spiritual work, the one factor to be taken into account is God. He is the one Person to make contact with. That is the preciousness of spiritual work that is truly spiritual-it is related to the Lord Himself In relation to Him there is work to do, but it is work that produces no sweat.

If we have to advertise our ministry and use great effort to promote it, then it is obvious that it does not spring from prayer in the presence of God. If you really work in God's presence, men will respond when you come into their presence. You will not have to use endless means in order to help them. Spiritual work is God's work, and when God works, man does not need to expend so much effort that he sweats over it.

Let us in utter honesty examine ourselves before God today. Let us ask Him: "Am I serving You, or am I merely serving the work? Is my ministry truly unto you Lord, or is it only ministry to your House?" If you are pouring with sweat all the time, it is safe to conclude that it is the House you are serving, not the Lord. If all your busyness is related to human need, you may know that you are serving men, not God. I am not despising the work of slaying sacrifices at the altar. It is work for God and someone has to do it-but God wants something beyond that. The Sons of Zadok God cannot secure everyone for service to Himself, for many of His own are reluctant to leave the thrill and excitement of the outer court. They are bent on serving the people. But what about us? Oh that today we might say to the Lord: "I am willing to forsake things, I am willing to forsake the work, I am willing to forsake the outer court and serve You in the inner sanctuary."

When God could find no way to bring all the Levites to the place of ministry to Himself, He chose the sons of Zadokfrom among them for this special service. Why did He select the sons of Zadok? Because when the children of Israel went astray, they recognized that the outer court had been irreparably corrupted, so they did not seek to preserve it. Instead, they made it their business to preserve the sanctity of the Holy Place.

Brothers and sisters, can you bear to let the external structure go, or must you persist in putting up a scaffolding to preserve it? It is the Holy Place that God is out to preserve-a place utterly set apart for Him. I beseech you before God to hear His call to for sake the outer court and devote yourself to His service in the Holy Place.

I love to read about the prophets and teachers in the church at Antioch: "As they ministered to the Lord and fasted, the Holy Ghost said: Separate me Barnabas and Sau1 for the work whereunto I have called them" (Acts 13:2). We see there that the Holy Spirit commissions men to the work as they are ministering to the Lord. Unless ministry to the Lord is the thing that governs us, the work will be in confusion.

God does not want volunteers for His work; He wants conscripts. He will not have you preaching the gospel just because you want to. The work of the Lord is suffering serious damage today at the hand of volunteers; it lacks those who can say as He did: "He that sent me..."

Brothers and sisters, the work of God is God's own work, and not work that you can take up ac your pleasure. Neither churches, nor missionary societies, nor evangelistic bands can send men to work for God. The authority to commission men is not in the hands of men, but solely, in the hands of the Spirit of God.

Serving the Lord does not mean chat we do not serve people, but it does mean that all service to people has service to the Lord as its basis. It is service Godward that urges us out manward. Luke 17:7-10 tells us clearly what the Lord is after. These are two kinds of work referred to here: plowing the field and tending the flock. Both are very important occupations, yet the Lord says that when a servant returns from such work, he is expected to provide for his master's satisfaction before sitting down to enjoy his own food.

When we have returned from our toil in the field, we are apt to muse complacently on the much work we have accomplished. But the Lord will say, "Gird yourself and give me to eat." He requires ministry to Himself. We may have labored in a wide field and cared for many sheep, but all our toil in the field and among the flock does not exempt us from ministry to the Lord's own personal satisfaction. That is our supreme task.

What are you really after? Is it only work in the field, preaching the gospel to the unsaved? Is it just tending the flock, caring for the needs of the saved? Or are we seeing to it that the Lord can eat to His full satisfaction and drink till His thirst is quenched? True, it is necessary for us also to eat and drink, but that cannot be till after the Lord is satisfied. We, too, must have our enjoyment, but that can never be until His joy is first made full.

Let us ask ourselves: Does our work minister to our satisfaction or to the Lord's? I fear that when we have worked for the Lord, we are often thoroughly satisfied before He is satisfied. We are often quite happy with our work when He has found no joy in it. Blessed are they who can differentiate between ministry to sinners or saints, and ministry to Him. Such discernment is not easily acquired. Often it is only by much drastic dealing that we learn the difference between ministry to the Lord Himself and ministry to the House.

Let us seek the grace of God that He may reveal to us what it really means to minister to Him!

Born in 1903 in Swatow, China, Watchman Nee had many years of fruitful ministry before being imprisoned by the Chinese communists after their take-over of the country. He has long been recognized as one of the most influential Christian authors of our time. His writings are noted for being deeply spiritual and highly devotional, and their purpose is to exalt Christ and build up His body of believers. Watchman Nee's writings include The Normal Christian Life, The Spiritual Man, and The Release of the Spirit.

God's Definition of Success

God's Definition of Success
Unknown Author

What is God’s definition of success for His people in this life? How does He define greatness? It’s simple, but it upsets our worldly paradigm. “Whoever wishes to be great . . . must be the servant . . . just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and give His life a ransom for many” (Mt. 20:26–28, emphasis added).

God’s definition of success is that we be conformed to the image of Jesus Christ—that our nature be increasingly changed to be like His (Rom. 8:29). There’s a purpose in the mind of the Potter; there is joy in the heart of our Maker as He fashions our hearts like the clay. Will we let Him mold and bend us? Or will we stiffen and harden under the pressures He allows? Do we recognize the invitation that lies in every moment of suffering and in every blessing? To be conformed. Or is our goal merely momentary satisfaction?

I believe the primary thing God has in mind when He works to conform us into Christ’s image is meekness. Love. Humility. These are all essentially the same quality—the willingness to go low; to use my strength to serve rather than to enslave; to entrust my soul to the Father rather than grasp for its so-called rights. Jesus possesses many attributes, but the heart qualities He attributed to Himself are meekness and lowliness. “For I am meek and lowly of heart” (Mt. 11:29).

In 1 Corinthians 3:11–15, Paul gives a stunning picture of what will happen when believers stand before Christ:

“Now if any man builds upon the foundation [of Christ Jesus] with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, each man’s work will become evident; for the day will show it, because it is to be revealed with fire; and the fire itself will test the quality of each man’s work. If any man’s work which he has built upon it remains, he shall receive a reward. If any man’s work is burned, he shall suffer loss; but he himself shall be saved, yet so as through fire” (emphasis added).

All of our life’s investments—our attitudes, actions, words, choices—will be revealed as worthless or valuable. We do not carry possessions into the next age. But we do carry reward into it—or the lack thereof.

What endures into the age to come? Is it not a humble love (1 Cor. 13)? You could say that at the end of our lives the question will be: did you learn to love? Not, how big was your ministry? Or, how many people did you please? Now, there is nothing insubstantial about this word that sums up all the Law and the Prophets. Love is all-consuming and demands flesh and blood expression to its claims. Just as Christ’s love for His Father and for us led to His poured-out life, so will love lead us.

On the one hand, this is weighty, because we spend so much energy building a glittering image, while God works in us to produce a lowly heart. On the other hand, I find it incredibly freeing. You mean everything counts with You, God? What amazing news. Doing dishes counts. Serving someone who has no ability to return the favor counts. Honoring my spouse’s desires when I want to do my own thing counts. Fasting a meal in secret counts. Praying for someone who has wounded me counts. Choosing righteousness when I am tempted with sin counts. If it lines up with God’s Word and it’s done in love, it counts as success in God. We have a Father who sees in secret, who will one day openly reward us (Mt. 6:1–18).

This truth can transform each day. Music in the mundane—each moment can be a love-song unto God. Especially when no one is looking. Yes, I would dare to say that the sweetest sounds of this song come forth when no accolades of man accompany them. O Father, give us revelation of Your definition of success. Let it become ours.