So good to hear from you! I would love to give you an update. I'm glad you liked the card, I really do love Ahna, Monica and Em and I'm learning so much with them.
1) I've been in a season of being "Quenched" (that's my word for this year). Is 41:17-20. The Father is teaching me that He really really can satisfy that deep thirst and dryness in my spirit. He is wooing me back to Him in such gentleness and such respect. That He loves me JUST for me, not what I learn, what I can offer, how I can serve, how I love, or how I respond...But when I choose to accept His Love it will really sink in and it won't bounce off in lies and disillusionment. Then I can love from the overflow of His affection. It's all about intimacy with HIM...not just for m-n-stry!
Also I've learned how much the H.S. works in us and through us to give us the POWER and the DESIRE to want him. That my soul overflows with the thought of wanting to be with Him, to please my Beloved and to spend time with my cherished one. I wondered what the difference was between C's that "just believed" and those who actually had this overwhelming power and longing...and I attributed it to personality. BUT that is not it at all! It is being FILLED with the H.S., being baptized by His Spirit! He is the One who gives the power and the passion and the gifts! Of course it's not about the gifts, but the Fruit of His Spirit gives evidence to His work in the life of the believer. What a revelation...I really had no idea! That's the difference! How profoundly simple. It opens up your eyes to see things in the unseen realm with much more clarity. What do you think about this? Have you ever considered being baptized in the Spirit???
Also you would be happy to know that I am beginning to learn how to check my thoughts/feelings with the Truth of his Word! Believing the Truth about what He says about me, others adn issues.... on f-ith rather than just waiting til I actually feel it.
2) Job. What job? Yeah, my boss told me this past Saturday that he likes my work and who I am as a person...but doesn't have enough money to keep me on as an employee. (and it's true). I have a strange peace about it, even though it is a jarring transition and change. The Father is teaching me about finding my worth not in a position or how much money I contribute, but that He loves me even when I feel like I have nothing to bring to the table. It's actually been really healing for my housemates because I'm not as angry, depressed and so frustrated. My boss is a very broken man, and I think being around his pessimistic attitude so much really took a toll on my sanity...BUT Our Father taught me so much about Sp-r-tual warfare, pr-y-r, and learning that I can't "change" others to believe G-d's best for them. I can present truth and encouragement....but They ultimately have to choose to accept it for themselves. I had to learn to "let go". It's been a good learning process and I've been seeing how the Father is providing other income (ahna got a $500 bonus, someone wants senior photos $265, and we cut some of our budget in gas, (since my trek to work was 45 min each way). Also I had an interview with an amazing graphics company. I think that I will get the job, but the Father wants to make sure that it doesn't define me and that I learn to trust Him in the process, not just in the result. I've attached an excerpt from a story written by my friend Mel that really illustrates the conceptual parts of this process that I've been learning with the Father.
3) Breakthrough! Ahna and I (and my housemates) had another falling out during late December and we came to a place of understanding that if the Father didn't help our relationship that our pitiful human efforts were in vain. I stopped trying to "figure it out"....and just admitted in humility (Jas 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the the Father, and he shall lift you up.) I didn't know how to fix it and asked the Father to provide wisdom like He promises... (Jas 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask the Father, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.) Guess what? He did. But in a way I didn't expect. He told me to repent to my housemates for not really letting them get to know me...for hiding behind walls. I had to realize that.... wow...I really did do this. Actually joining this community was SUCH a struggle for me (you know this!) and I haven't actually allowed myself to "move in" mentally because I knew it would be temporary. But the Father had great plans...He wanted me to build roots deep in His marvelous love for me and part of that was ALLOWING others the privilege of loving me! and actually receiving it without blocking it and allowing it to hit and bounce off of the walls I had so conveniently placed around myself. They REALLY do love me! I just have finally allowed them to know me....not the pre-China me, but the Krissy I am now.
The boys? eh! That has been a challenge, as boys are very different that the superior female gender.... (hehehe, just kidding!). I have found myself liking one of them off and on, comparing him to Andrew and being hurt and elated at different parts of our friendship. I have finally come to a happy medium, knowing that I am so valued by our Father and whether or not this boy chooses to pursue has no affect on my worth or value. I can just enjoy my friendship with him and build him up in the Father and trust that in due timing He will provide a husband. I don't have to be in charge of that area and I can just LET GO and TRUST. It's really quite freeing....not having to know all the answers. :) Oh, and with Andrew...the Father has brought SUCH restoration that I had NEVER thought possible. I'm no longer bitter or resentful towards him AND I don't have feelings for him! It's such an amazing little mix. I love how the Father brings healing to relationships.
4) Family - I'm learning that my Dad loves me even when I don't have a job. Which is HUGE because I think this is a big area where I doubted his love for me and his ability to be proud of me if I didn't have something to offer. He told me that "it was out of my control." AND he told me I don't have to pay my car payment this next month...he will help me out. (also HUGE! He doesn't just do that!!!) He assured me that "it would be okay. and that times are hard right now". WOW.
My mom is still in about the same place, but I don't really have to deal with the effects because I live apart from it for the most part. SO that helps! She actually had a good day on Christmas and went with us to see the movie Avatar and seemed to really enjoy herself. Rare!
My brother just spent a bunch of time with us during his Christmas break and it was flipping AMAZING. I love that kid so much it just hurts. We went to Dave and Buster's and played Basketball and I won the jackpot on the little "light that goes in a circle and you have to stop it on the jackpot" game.
I hope that was a satisfactory update, I cannot even begin to touch on the things that I have been learning...it seems like such a season of growth after my foundation had been torn up and rebuilt...now I am actually seeing Him build and how I can just love Him and through loving Him in intimacy He will love others through teaching me! Not about me at all! It's all about Him! He is so wonderful. How exciting!
1) What have you been learning?
2) What is your favorite/least favorite experience in teaching so far?
3) How is team life going? I've been lifting up the requests that you gave for each of the girls.
Cya~Krissy~ aka Puppy
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